My Hopeful Halloween

I'll never forget Halloween of 2012, two years ago today.  After letting Luke answer the door and hand out candy (he didn't want to go trick-or-treating yet...hadn't figured out the fun), I went to the bathroom to take a pregnancy test.  I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I was a few days late, and it was time to see.

Positive.  Tried not to get overly excited.  Wasn't sure when or how to tell Matt, because I knew he would panic a little.  EXACTLY two years prior to that, we found out we were pregnant with our second baby, who we lost at eleven weeks on Christmas day of 2010.  When you go through something like that, fear and doubt creep in.  It's harder to enjoy the next pregnancy, because you are so scared that something is going to go wrong.  I showed the test to Matt, and he was cautiously optimistic.  Emphasis on the "cautious" part.  I remember he ran to the store to buy 2 more "expensive" pregnancy tests, to be sure.  Got some smiley faces that confirmed it.

I remember crying in the shower, praying for God to let us keep this baby.  It was happy/sad/gut wrenching cry.  Ugly cry.  But cleansing.  And the kind of prayer where your thoughts are not clear, but you know God understands what you're saying.  We had a few scares along the way, but delivered our precious Elizabeth 7 1/2 months later, happy and healthy.  She has been a joy ever since, and fills our house with love every day.  And not a Halloween will go by that I won't remember the day we found out she would be in our lives.  So blessed and grateful.  Stay hopeful, friends.